Anna Elise

I feel like I need to finish out this blog. Our beautiful Anna is now almost 9 months old. She is such a blessing to our family. I'm so grateful to God for blessing us with another child. I think I appreciate each of my children more now that I know what it is like to lose the promise of a child.

God has put my heart to rest about baby Hope. I'm ok not knowing whether she was a child or just the hope of a child. I will be thrilled to meet her in Heaven, but I'm ok if that pregnancy was completely a hormonal fluke, too. God is good, and everything He does is good. Even if I don't understand. I don't need to know. Maybe someday He will bring something into my life that I feel I MUST understand. I'm thankfkul at this point, that He has given me the ability to let it go.

Sometimes the uncertainty of life scares me. I read other people's blogs and I realize that tomorrow may hold something beyond my greatest fears. What would I do if.....? I don't know. But I do know that time and time again God somehow gives grace and strength to endure great heartache and trial. Weariness and hopelessness threaten to overwhelm, but somehow, God seems to carry his children through the most unimagineable heartache. I want ease. I want happiness. I love my life just the way it is. I'm terrified by the prospect of.... things about which we only whisper, things from which I avert my eyes and won't allow my mind to even consider.

But once again, the promise of Heaven gives me the courage to take a deep breath and enjoy the life I have, while I have it. Someday, for Christ's chosen followers, we will live where "there will be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, and no more pain..."

And that is the Story of Hope.